Australians Really Eat Fried Mice

The food and beverage vernacular of “Australier” (as many citizens say) has given me pause and lots of laughs. Things like:

    • “have a feed” — i.e. “We are about to have a feed if you want to join us.” Used for both a quick bite and a more leisurely, social dining experience.   For the record, you can also “have” a sleep — a phrase usually used in reference to naps.
    • “smashed it” — used in reference to ice cream or any other food that you more-or-less inhaled.
    • “Golden Gaytime” — everyone loves a Golden Gaytime.   It is definitely something most people “smash.”  

On Being a Hammer-Weilding Woman

In Australia, it takes two days of training, a thorough test, and a government “License to Perform High Risk Work” to be allowed to sit on a chair and watch another person fasten light fixtures to the ceiling.   Not even kidding.  

Walking on [Dirt Hot as] Sunshine

The sound of flip flops slapping against concrete and beer bottles clinking as they’re tossed into trash cans at sunrise will forever be the soundtrack to my six months of living in the Pilbara.

A Shark Did Not Attack Me

I thought broken glass caused the reflections.   Less than five minutes had passed since we navigated through the night to an FMG Exploration Drill Site and popped our tent up.   My quest, sans contact lenses, was to visit nature’s ladies room for the last time that day.

The closest approximation I could extract from Google Images to represent the glittering in the night.

The closest approximation I could extract from Google Images to represent my midnight view.

Flashlight in hand, I took a step.   The glittering pieces shifted, like a prism in the wind.   Curious, I plunged deeper into the shrubs and waist-high termite mounds.   I squinted into the darkness.   My attention vacillated between the captivating sparkles and slope-degree estimations (the female equivalent of finding the perfect tree).   My eyes landed on an adequate spot just as my brain settled on the source of gorgeous ground twinkles.

How I Became a Zombie

I know I haven’t written a blog post for months.  The material has been stacking up like you wouldn’t believe.

I consume most of my food in this trailer. Don't know why, but work lunch is referred to as "crib" here. We pack our "cribs" in the morning and eat them in a crib room. But the time spent doing so is referred to as "Smoko" (smoke break) and lunch. Okay, Australia. Whatev.

I consume most of my food in this trailer. Don’t know why, but work lunch is referred to as “crib” here. We pack our “cribs” in the morning and eat them in a crib room. But the time spent doing so is referred to as “Smoko” (smoke break) and lunch. Okay, Australia. Whatev.

The thing is, I started this job that suits my all-or-nothing style.  However, it means I’ve been working 84 hours a week and living at a mining camp in the middle of nowhere since the end of July.  After four 84 hour weeks, I get one off.  Mostly I use that week to veg and escape to the Australian wilderness with my boyfriend where we find campsites with population: 2.

The view from the walking loop I do at camp every night after work!

The view from the walking loop I do at camp every night after work!

I’m happy to be earning money, but miss the lifestyle I’ve temporarily put on hold… the one where I have all the time in the world for family, friends, and friends-to-be.

The bright side of working double is that I will come out of these months with twice the money in half the time (insert nerdy blog-name reference).   But this out-of-balance, work-a-holic lifestyle is crazy-making!  And it really slams home my life motto – that most of the things I want have to be purchased with time, not money.

Right-o.  Back to work!  Catch y’all in another few months?!

When to Starve a Lobster

The world’s favorite edible crustacean can come out of the Western Australian ocean and be on a plate in Dubai or Japan 96 hours later.   I learned this tidbit after a gorgeous, blonde woman unexpectedly and enthusiastically greeted my boyfriend (BTG) with a warm and lingering hug.

The Secret to Shipping a Fragile Package

I’ve said it before: the immigration department is doing fantastic work protecting Australian jobs. As with any country, one faction of news media and “whinging” public complain about immigrants ruining everything and taking jobs. But as an pseudo-immigrant